dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
