just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
