Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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