I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
accomplished twins. life is a go
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize