just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
