she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
