my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
