so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
