Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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