Are we in a gay sports bar?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
