Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Oh god it's open bar.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
