Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
