Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
