can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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