I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
