So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
