And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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