She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
