I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
