I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
