this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
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All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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