So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
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The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
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As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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