Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
