Umm I'm too high to move.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
