Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
