you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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