she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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