made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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