Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
