dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
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she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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