are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She told me I should be a condom model.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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