Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
