Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
