he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
