I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
