His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Be still, my beating vagina.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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