the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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