They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
