Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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