does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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