Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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