Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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