No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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