So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
