More tranny stories later!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
