when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i will never coherently bang her
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
