Its about making memories worth repressing
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
