All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize