i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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