Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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