Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
