dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
