I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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