god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I will be naked everywhere
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
