Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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