oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
