So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
