wat bout pragnant strippers??
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My ass is underappreciated
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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