Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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